Stuyvesant Town residents brave enough to sunbath in what was once the Oval lawn are coming down with a mysterious condition known as 'Oval fever'. The mud-skipping tenants are finding large welts and red discoloration on their arms and legs in addition to raging fevers after exposing themselves on the complex's swamp-like lawns.Beth Bigbone and her friend Rachel Heft both caught Oval fever after sunning themselves in the putrid park yesterday afternoon. "There's not much grass left so we threw a blue tarp down on the mud to get some sun," Beth tells us. "When we got home we noticed these large red patches on our skin and some sort of bug bites. Later I went to the ER when my fever hit 104 degrees. They said it looked like West Nile virus but couldn't be sure without more tests."
Another resident came down with a fever after she spent an afternoon reading a book by the fountain. "My chest was really tight. I thought I might have breathed in too much of the chlorinated water coming from the fountain," the tenant says, asking to remain anonymous. "But my husband noticed a swarm of mosquitoes in a nearby planter that was full of water. He told security what had happened and they said, 'what do you want us to do?'"
The non-stop rain New York City has experienced in the month of June, combined with Stuyvesant Town's disinterest in taking care of the lawn, has left the park looking like a large, muddy puddle. The water logged lawn is a perfect breeding ground for mosquitoes that are known to carry the West Nile Virus. Symptoms of the disease include headache, high fever, neck stiffness, stupor, disorientation, coma, tremors, convulsions, muscle weakness, and paralysis. It is estimated that approximately 1 in 150 persons infected with the West Nile virus will develop a more severe form of disease.
Residents insistent on enjoying the brief moments of sun in the park must bring lounge chairs, tarps, and in one case, a large piece of plywood to lie down on due to the bug-ridden mud. "It's really gross over there," says Miss Bigbone speaking of the Oval. "It reminds me of that muddy Woodstock concert. Not the old one, the one in the '90s where everyone got raped."
The lawn looks like sh*t, literally. Would it kill them to buy a bag of grass seeds?
"Residents insistent on enjoying the brief moments of sun in the park must bring lounge chairs, tarps, and in one case, a large piece of plywood..."
I don't have to bring my own plywood -- I just use the sheet the MINI Cooper was parked on last Wednesday during the rock-n-roll show. (Yeah, like you thought the groundskeepers removed it.)
Also, possible alternate headline:
Here's Mud in Your Stuy
After asking security about the mosquitos, the unnamed tenant had his cell phone confiscated by the security officer due to "suspicion that it contained an illegal camera ".
I guess TS continues to believe (like the Iranian government) that if you censor news and photography the rest of the world will believe nothing is wrong
I heard security took the cell phone only after they pistol whipped the tenant. ;)
That lawn is a disgrace! I was just over there to see the "glorious blooming" oval and it's basically a large mud puddle. And what isn't mud is barren patches of cheap sand.
I read in T&V that a pack of yunnies, while innocently updating their FB status,
wandered straight into the mudpit - flip flops
and big sunglasses never to be seen again!
Beth Bigbone ROFL!