NYU students living in Stuyvesant Town have taken the liberty of applying their own bong-induced logic to finding ways of quickly removing the illegal pressurized walls in Stuy Town apartments. It's simple, gather ten of your dumbest friends, order a keg, get stoned, and throw yourselves through the fake freakin' wall duuude!
"Wall-plowing parties" are all the rage amongst the meat-headed NYU students that Stuyvesant Town residents are forced to cohabitate with. "Last night I had to call security because it sounded like the ceiling was caving in," one sleep deprived tenant told us. "I went upstairs to see what was going on and there was wall everywhere! Young men were being taken out in stretchers to ambulances, it's been a nightmare here lately."
Rumors are now circulating that the walls are perfectly legal and all the brouhaha was nothing more than a hoax started by a disgruntled employee at Stuyvesant Town's management office. Tishman Speyer, the company that owns and manages the property, has not given tenants any official word on the walls leaving residents with no choice but to find information online.
"I'm totally confused," said one tenant. "I read in the New York Post that the walls are a danger to firefighters, and then I read that we should make our own walls out of found objects and now there are bored, suburbanite kids using their bodies as human wrecking balls. Lux living, right?"
I can spot these poor young people a mile away -- with their red, irritated, swollen, runny eyes. It's just terrible and due to an allergic reaction to temporary, pressurized walls. Pressoconjunctivitis (commonly called "Wall Eye" in North America) requires immediate treatment. Tearing these pressurized walls down is usually prescribed.
Are you talking about the guys in 8 Stuyvesant Oval?
Is crystal meth ruining your or the life of someone you love?