Stuyvesant Town's 20% vacancy rate is causing Tishman Speyer more than just financial problems as reports of squatters taking over the unwanted luxury apartments begin to surface.A recent article in The New York Times reported that Tishman Speyer lost $4.8 million dollars in revenue last year because of a surge in apartment vacancies and lengthy legal battles evicting rent stabilized tenants. Residents recently noticed an influx of young, disheveled tenants throughout the complex and thought they were the result of the new campaign Tishman Speyer is running with American Apparel with the hopes of attracting a younger crowd to fill the undesired apartments. It turns out it's not hipsters inhabiting the vacant crash pads but a slew of homeless squatters from nearby Tompkins Square Park.
"They reeked of Old Spice and drank PBR so I thought they were Williamsburg transplants," says longtime resident Alex Cook. "But then I saw them moshing in the Oval the other night and puking in the grass. I mean, even hipsters can't find irony in the Dead Kennedys so I knew something was up."
Management began receiving dozens of calls from tenants complaining about loud partying, stolen Vespas and drugs being sold from the senior center. "They are planting pot behind those ugly bushes planted in cornrows on First Avenue," a tenant tells us, asking to remain anonymous because she fears retaliation from the gutter punks. "The plants are over four feet tall thanks to the new sprinklers. It's shameful!"
After some investigation the problem was traced back to an 18 year-old employee at Stuyvesant Town's leasing office. Fearing he would be one of the many soon to be fired from their prestigious jobs for the low vacancy rate, the employee took the liberty of implementing his own outside-of-the-box thinking and handed out Stuy Town flyers in the East Village and Tompkins Square Park. "They looked cool. I thought Stuyvesant Town wanted young, cool people," the employee stated as he was ejected from the leasing office.
Tishman Speyer spokesman Bud Perrone said, "We don't consider things like drugs, crime, or Old Spice funny, entertaining or helpful for our residents."
Oh my! I thought for a moment that was a photograph of the inside of Beulette's trailer!
Luxie, there's a reporting error here. You keep forgetting that Peter Walker Landscaping Architects are a Berkeley firm. They planted the pot plants, not the squatters. Don't you know anything about Berkeley? Also, can you be a bit more specific? Where exactly on First Avenue, behind which ugly bush are the plants growing? We readers have the right to get first dibs.
Suck it Bud, Old Spice is funny!
They gave me crabs!