Pot Smoking Clothing Thieves Rule 510 East 20th Street

TO WHOM IT CONCERNS.

CONGRATULATIONS ON MOVING YOUR BLOG*

SIGNED,
THE POT SMOKING LAUNDRY THIEF

* FIRST!

I've frequently heard that most pot-smoking clothing thieves are staunch nudists. Thus, for purely philosophical reasons, are unlikely to return clothing-- which they find to be frivolous & cumbersome trappings of the middle class. No room for the middle class here, anymore, in these lux dwellings. Time to move on.

Well. Mother and I have also been victimized! Last week my floral print and her zebra print empire waist swimdresses "went missing" from the laundry room! Should I find them on any Oval sunbathers, there will be h-e-double hockey sticks to pay!

Edna Doodle. I have a serious bone to pick with you and Mother. I strongly suspect that you are the two ladies who like to go skinny dipping in the Oval fountain and, because of the serious water displacement when you two well built lasses jump in, the Oval gets flooded. You are resposible for Oval Swamp! Kindly cease and desist! (Neither of you is exactly a size one, you know.)

Really, Beulah...Skinny dipping in the Oval fountain? Mother and me??? I see that you have a well-developed sense of rumor, but I think not. (Although mother does allude to an indiscretion in her youth at the Fontainebleau Hotel involving a fountain, Piper Heidsieck, and Xavier Cugat...)

And by the way dear, our missing empire waist swimdresses are both size 14.

What's wrong with stealing laundry? As a rent-stabilized tenant, I sure can't afford to dress luxuriously like those who pay market rents, so a wonderful solution is to follow them into the laundry room and swipe their clothes from the dryers. I got my entire summer wardrobe this way! And I don't see anything wrong with this method of filling my closets, since they can just go shopping and buy more stuff. I hope Tish-Spy and their goons toss the unstylish Edna Doodle and her "mother" (i.e. lesbian live-in lover) out of Stuy Town soon, since they don't accurately reflect the rest of us rent-stabilized tenants who actually do care about our appearance, and will do just about anything to look like a trendy, market rate renter! Fake it till you make it, people!

What am I, flypaper for the unhinged? I'm practically speechless, young lady! Mother, (that is Mrs. Doodle to you, missy) is exactly that -- my mother!

My earlier comment to Beulah appears to have been lost in the ether, so may I repeat, Skinny dipping in the Oval fountain? Mother and me??? I suspect that you have a well-developed sense of rumor in addition to bats in your belfry, so I'd like to take this opportunity to do a bit of bud-nipping: no no and no!!! (Although mother does allude to an indiscretion in her youth at the Fontainebleau Hotel involving a fountain, Piper Heidsieck, and Xavier Cugat...)

And by the way dear, our missing empire waist swimdresses are both size 14.