Ask Stuyvesant Town's management team and they will tell you that life in New York City can be hectic at times. All day long they field thousands of calls from angry tenants about flooded apartments, rat and roach infestations, grass fires, utility outages, stolen property, fallen air conditioners, pipe bombs, drug dealers, and locust swarms.But now there is a place to escape it all! Oval Zen is the place for tenants to unwind from the stresses of the day. With help from Con Edison's steam pipes and Stuyvesant Town's leaf blowers, Oval Zen combines all the elements in a tranquil and relaxing oasis in the middle of the 14th Street Loop.
Best of all Oval Zen is yours to enjoy for a small, monthly charge of $50, a $750 initiation fee, a $35 service fee, and a luxury tax of $75. A little slice of Kyoto right in Manhattan.
Everytime me and Beulette tried to get into the lotus position on that rock in the beautiful Oval Zen, the "Yeehaaa Cowboy" drove past on his golf cart making sucking noises and whistling and hissing and just ruined it for us. They should just corral that dude!
According to D. T. Suzuki, "Satori is the raison d'être of Zen, without which Zen is no Zen. Therefore every contrivance, disciplinary and doctrinal, is directed towards satori.
Similarly, Greed is the raison d'etre of Tishman Speyer, without which a Speyer is no Speyer. Therefore every amenity(essential), defeated rent stabilized tenant and golf cart is directed toward greed
Con Ed & Tishman Speyer: A picturesque love story of two wandering souls who found eachother in this cold and lonely city.
Me and Beulette were just getting into the Asana Position on the cross bar that TishSpy so graciously provided, when a security officer drove up and asked to see our membership cards and receipts. Of course, we didn't have them seeing as we can barely afford the rent let alone the cost of the amenities/essentials. Lucky for us, it started to rain so he wasn't going to get out of his SUV to ticket us.
Well. It appears that Mssrs. Speyer have brought a little bit of Rockaway Beach right here to Stuyvesant Town. This is very exciting! What's next, I wonder? If OvalKids doesn't "work out," perhaps management can turn it into an aquarium!
Is it true that no Metro reporter will cover the increasingly chaotic situation in ST because [a] TishSpey pays for so much advertising in their newspapers; [b] Rubenstein Associates discourages coverage of one of their largest PR clients unless it is a softball article; [c] Mayor Bloomberg, his multi-minions and friends want all regulation eliminated, so he allows TishSpey free regin in ruining an historic residential complex. Does anyone care; is anyone out there; is anyone listening. This is a great New York story to cover..if the press stopped its opining about the Presidential Campaign long enough to listen, write and may win a Pulitzer.
So write, honeybun, WRITE! I would love to see the 60minutes newsteam show up at TishSpey's door and do a big exposee on what's going on in ST!
The Times should be called the Gray Old Lady with a yellow streak running down her back.